Posted on by hockeymomlauran

It’s Good to have Dave

All of a sudden, the nest is empty. The birds have gone and what once was a constant blur of activity is now nothing more than a few discarded feathers. Silence mutes all that was colorful and it is time to reestablish our significant place in an ever-changing world”

Marci Seither

For two months after Henry left in the fall of 2019, I sat in a funk. I remember going to work and doing what needed to be done, but I’m sure my coworkers all thought I was a complete bitch. I was short with them and my husband. *Sigh* My husband…

Dave has this sixth sense about me. After 22 years of marriage, he knows me better than I understand myself. He pushes me, he backs off, he makes me laugh–all when I need it the most. He is really my champion, especially in times I am being completely selfish. I’m not sure how he does it. I would have hated living with me this past fall. But instead of packing up and leaving, he planned. He planned trips–to Vegas, to Phoenix twice, and a cruise to the Caribbean. He figured that without paying for hockey anymore, we could use the money to escape the cold and the empty house. I’m sure his thought was ‘It may not be an every month occurrence, but let’s just try to just get Lauran through the first year.’ What a sweetheart, eh?

So we did. We went to Vegas and drank screwdrivers at 9am and martinis at 9pm. We went to Phoenix, Tucson, Lake Havasu, and back to Phoenix. We visited my mother, his father, my grandmother, and his father…again. I think I’m a bit done with Phoenix now. Next up–our first cruise. We’ll see how that goes for Dave.

Now look, I understand that not everyone has this opportunity to travel. You need to have available time off, and a budget of some kind. But this is where I will give you a totally UNsponsored tip: Use the app Hopper. It will find you great flights for cheap and will even tell you the best days/months to travel and whether or not you should book or wait. Our first trip to Phoenix was only $100 each round trip. And if you can stay with family for free–even better…well sometimes. 😉 The other trick is the Kayak app. It will tell you where you can go to on any budget in the world. If you are flexible, it could save you hundreds of dollars.

I have to admit, the short vacations throughout our Minnesota winter has made time fly. Also, I think I’m ready to just hunker down and be a homebody. But I’m sure by the time February and March roll around, I’ll change my mind and be looking for that quick 3 day weekend in Phoenix.

Posted on by hockeymomlauran

What Now?

Getting lost in this new reality.

“When mothers talk about the depression of the empty nest, they’re not mourning the passing of all those wet towels on the floor, or the music that numbs your teeth, or even the bottle of capless shampoo dribbling down the shower drain. They’re upset because they’ve gone from supervisor of a child’s life to a spectator. It’s like being the vice president of the United States.”

—Erma Bombeck

August 24, 2019–my son, and youngest of my two children moved into his dorm room at the University of North Dakota. It was a five hour drive from home, and a journey 18 years in the making.

I have two children, Muriel and Henry. Muriel is almost 22 and Henry as of this writing, just turned 19. They have always been different from each other; one leads with their head, one their heart. One enjoys being alone, the other needs to be surrounded by their friends constantly. One took academics quite seriously, the other questioned the need for higher education. One plans for the future, one lives in the present. You get the gist. For those who only have one interpretation of Generation Z, I challenge you to observe my children and come away with the same assumptions.

So when I sent Muriel off to college, I didn’t worry. In fact, when she travelled the world modeling at the age of 18, I didn’t worry. Muriel left for college determined and ready to create her path. She has always been ready. But Henry…well, he’s a different story.

Henry is bright and humorous. He leads with his heart, and is a deep thinker. He is trying desperately to find his path. He has shown me that sometimes you need to consider things more carefully; that it isn’t always about me, and yet I’m the only one responsible for my outcome.

As a mom, we always worry, right? Are they making the right decisions–going to class, doing their homework, partying too much? I question everything…and yet, I think it’s because I don’t have the distractions I once had when they were both home–hockey, dance, lacrosse, volleyball, drama, pizza parties. See a theme? All centered around THE CHILDREN.

Now what? So begins the journey to figure that out. At 44 years old, I am learning to tackle new things–like this blog. If nothing else, I hope you find a little piece of yourself in this. I will try to be as honest as I can without completely embarrassing anyone. And I would love ideas from you! Our identities don’t have to be our children. It’s time to grow as Lauran–not just Mom.